Best Quotes Of The Day
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Best Quotes Of The Day
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Steven Wright
Date of birth:
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Date of death:
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"I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window."
―
Steven Wright
Topic(s):
Car
"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time."
―
Steven Wright
Topic(s):
Humor
"I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything."
―
Steven Wright
Topic(s):
Poetry
"I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I’m gone."
―
Steven Wright
Topic(s):
Car
"What’s another word for Thesaurus?"
―
Steven Wright
Topic(s):
Funny
"I think God’s going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding."
―
Steven Wright
Topic(s):
God
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
―
Steven Wright
Topic(s):
Car
"I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place."
―
Steven Wright
Topic(s):
Work
"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."
―
Steven Wright
Topic(s):
Power
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths."
―
Steven Wright
Topic(s):
Funny
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