More From Emo Philips
- "Some mornings, it’s just not worth chewing through the leather straps."
- "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."
- "I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, “I’m going to mop the floor with your face.” I said, “You’ll be sorry.” He said, “Oh, yeah? Why?” I said, “Well, you won’t be able to get into the corners very well.”"