"I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn’t have one. So I got a cake." ― Mitch Hedberg Topic(s): Women More From Mitch Hedberg "The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good as a wall." "I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, “You’re gonna have to move, you’re blocking a fire exit.” As though if there was a fire, I wasn’t gonna run. If you’re flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit." "If my kid couldn’t draw I’d make sure that my kitchen magnets didn’t work." More In Women "Because I have work to care about, it is possible that I may be less difficult to get along with than other women when the double chins start to form."― Gloria Steinem "There is not a soul who does not have to beg alms of another, either a smile, a handshake, or a fond eye."― Lord Acton "Suddenly women’s lib had made me feel my life had been wasted."― Barbara Bush