"I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her." ― Rodney Dangerfield Topic(s): Funny More From Rodney Dangerfield "I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it." "My mother had morning sickness after I was born." "My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home." More In Funny "It’s so funny, because right now I’m very tired and my brains a little dead, I tend to get very focused and serious. So, I’m probably coming off a lot more like Scully right now."― Gillian Anderson "Every man has his follies – and often they are the most interesting thing he has got."― Josh Billings "But it is funny, because I saw Unbreakable recently and it’s a strange movie, I didn’t mind it, and it’s got some interesting things going on."― Alex Winter