Best Quotes Of The Day
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Rodney Dangerfield
Date of birth:
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Date of death:
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"I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."
―
Rodney Dangerfield
Topic(s):
Time
"When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother."
―
Rodney Dangerfield
Topic(s):
Medical
"It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass."
―
Rodney Dangerfield
Topic(s):
Marriage
"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."
―
Rodney Dangerfield
Topic(s):
Time
"We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together."
―
Rodney Dangerfield
Topic(s):
Marriage
"I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out."
―
Rodney Dangerfield
Topic(s):
Sports
"I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap."
―
Rodney Dangerfield
Topic(s):
Family
"This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me."
―
Rodney Dangerfield
Topic(s):
Morning
"My mother had morning sickness after I was born."
―
Rodney Dangerfield
Topic(s):
Morning
"My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend."
―
Rodney Dangerfield
Topic(s):
Marriage
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