More From Mitch Hedberg
- "I’m a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone’s life."
- "I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn’t work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."
- "I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn’t have one. So I got a cake."
More In Famous
- "I keep saying I’m not at all famous in my own country, because people do not think I have done anything for India."― Freida Pinto
- "You know, I did not like being famous. It was a stressful and ugly time, and I’m glad it’s over."― Diablo Cody
- "Celebrity distorts democracy by giving the rich, beautiful, and famous more authority than they deserve."― Maureen Dowd