"Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?" ― Mitch Hedberg Topic(s): Famous More From Mitch Hedberg "I’m a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone’s life." "I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car’s headlights and tell you exactly which way it’s coming." "I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I’m upside down." More In Famous "I want to contribute to sport and the community in a positive way."― Kyle Shewfelt "When you’re famous, you don’t get to meet people because they want you to like them when the present themselves to you, and you don’t see the real people."― Cass Elliot "Now, we believe that the majority of teachers in America know our system must be reformed, to put students first so that America can compete, that teachers don’t teach to become rich or famous. They teach because they love children."― Chris Christie