"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck." ― George Carlin Topic(s): Funny More From George Carlin "At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom." "I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven’t tried that for a while. Maybe this time it’ll work." "Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that." More In Funny "Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you’re funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you."― Joan Rivers "You know, rural Americans are a special people. Their labor puts food on our table and fuel in our gas tanks. Their service in our military sets a powerful example of leadership, honor and sacrifice. Their spirit of community inspires us all."― Tom Vilsack "I like getting up in front of an audience. It’s fun when you go to a baseball game and the crowd is cheering you. I can’t deny it. And it’s very funny, too. Sometimes you’re shy; you go somewhere and everyone’s looking at you, so you feel a little self-conscious."― Jon Lovitz