"I’m thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings."
― Paula Poundstone
Topic(s):
Funny
More From Paula Poundstone
- "I’m thankful for Sarah Palin’s vice presidential bid, which taught us that Alaska is not in a box off the coast of California."
- "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, ‘Mom, they weren’t trying to teach you how to swim.’"
- "I don’t have a bank account because I don’t know my mother’s maiden name."
More In Funny
- "When I was doing ensemble theater and comedy work, I felt I had some talents. But when I started doing my shows in Berkeley and found that I could be funny on my own, I was shocked."― Whoopi Goldberg
- "My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe."― Jimmy Durante
- "Even though worker capacity and motivation are destroyed when leaders choose power over productivity, it appears that bosses would rather be in control than have the organization work well."― Margaret J. Wheatley