More From Emo Philips
- "Some mornings, it’s just not worth chewing through the leather straps."
- "You don’t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
- "I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, “I’m going to mop the floor with your face.” I said, “You’ll be sorry.” He said, “Oh, yeah? Why?” I said, “Well, you won’t be able to get into the corners very well.”"
More In Funny
- "Funny is only something that others know about you – you can’t be funny by yourself."― Chris Rock
- "Your talent is God’s gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God."― Leo Buscaglia
- "A romantic comedy has to be funny and make you think about life; but the obstacle that has to be overcome is key."― Jennifer Lopez