"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else." ― Woody Allen Topic(s): Funny Tags: regret More From Woody Allen "I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia." "I failed to make the chess team because of my height." "I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers." More In Funny "I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day."― Frank Sinatra "I thought I was funny as a kid."― Jo Brand "Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave."― Quentin Crisp