"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I’m the only one moving." ― Steven Wright Topic(s): Car More From Steven Wright "I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window." "I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone." "There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators." More In Car "I get appalled when I see good drivers being left on the sidelines because they haven’t come up with the half million to a million to put themselves in a competitive car."― John Surtees "I was at a party, and some squiggly looking dude with a bow tie came up and said, ‘How’d you like to be on TV?’ Turns out he was the programming guy at the Food Network. They had me come into the office, and I did a ‘Ready, Set, Cook’ with Emeril Lagasse, I believe."― Mario Batali "I think there’s a suspicion in the South of people putting on airs. You see it in most successful Southern politicians, but you also see it in someone like Richard Petty, who may be a multimillionaire stock car driver, but he’s also beloved because he has a nice self-deprecatory way about him."― John Shelton Reed