"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home."
― Phyllis Diller
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More From Phyllis Diller
- "Our dog died from licking our wedding picture."
- "There’s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what’s the problem?"
- "Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight."
More In Home
- "The nude scenes were a little eerie and I felt a bit odd. Yeah, when the camera scanned up my body, I said to my friend, ‘Now, that’s a close-up.’ I mean, you see every inch of my body. But I’m okay with it and so it was cool."― Natasha Henstridge
- "Entertainers are there to entertain. They aren’t there to teach your children the lessons that you haven’t bothered to teach them at home yourself."― Wentworth Miller
- "I love to get home and hang out with my family. My brothers and I love spending time at the beach. I enjoy doing all kinds of surf sports and keeping healthy."― Samantha Stosur