"When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always." ― Rita Rudner Topic(s): Funny More From Rita Rudner "I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry." "Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?" "I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don’t know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I’ll break up with someone on purpose." More In Funny "I’m a big fan of dreams. Unfortunately, dreams are our first casualty in life – people seem to give them up, quicker than anything, for a ‘reality.’"― Kevin Costner "My illness has taught me something about the nature of humanity, love, brotherhood and relationships that I never understood, and probably never would have. So, from that standpoint, there is some truth and good in everything."― Lee Atwater "You know what? I never really factor Hollywood into anything. I’m a black actor, so I can’t really control what Hollywood thinks. I gotta go do my thing, and my jokes have got to be funny. Whatever I do has got to be great."― Jamie Foxx