"I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either." ― Jack Benny Topic(s): Funny More From Jack Benny "Gags die, humor doesn’t." "Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air." "Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter." More In Funny "I write about wounds, the eternal treasons of life. It’s not very funny, but it’s sincere. My commitment is to sincerity."― Tahar Ben Jelloun "A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice."― Bill Cosby "Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of."― Robert Benchley