"I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives." ― Billy Connolly Topic(s): Funny More From Billy Connolly "I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be." "Heckling is an act of cowardice. If you want to speak, get up in front of the microphone and speak, don’t sit in the dark hiding. It’s easy to hide and shout and waste people’s time." "Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey… Doesn’t try it on." More In Funny "Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."― Mark Twain "We sincerely hope that south Asian countries will respect and live in amity with each other, and achieve common development, and that south Asia will enjoy peace, stability and prosperity."― Li Peng "Cheryl Cole and Katy Perry are two of the hottest girls in the world – and so normal and funny with it. If I was a few years older they are the kind of girls I’d like to date. I want a younger version of Cheryl and Katy – a mixture of the two would be hot."― Justin Bieber