"I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it." ― W. C. Fields Topic(s): Funny More From W. C. Fields "Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water." "Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against." "I like children – fried." More In Funny "I will do my best. That is all I can do. I ask for your help – and God’s."― Lyndon B. Johnson "Your talent is God’s gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God."― Leo Buscaglia "I have a love interest in every one of my films: a gun."― Arnold Schwarzenegger