"I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time." ― Steven Wright Topic(s): Time More From Steven Wright "When I die, I’m leaving my body to science fiction." "A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths." "I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything." More In Time "Having experienced everything you don’t want in a partner over time, it starts to narrow down to what you actually do want."― Jennifer Aniston "I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."― Rodney Dangerfield "What you lack in talent can be made up with desire, hustle and giving 110 percent all the time."― Don Zimmer