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- "Can you imagine a guy breaking into your car, and he steals your guitar case ’cause he thinks it’s a guitar, and he gets it home and opens it up and there’s a rake inside it, an electric toilet plunger and a dog skull? That actually happened."― Eugene Chadbourne
- "Man arrives as a novice at each age of his life."― Nicolas Chamfort
- "I always think everything has been the best part of my life."― Seann William Scott