"Never raise your hand to your children – it leaves your midsection unprotected." ― Robert Orben Topic(s): Funny More From Robert Orben "Quit worrying about your health. It will go away." "Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it’s filled with wisdom. Sometimes it’s filled with feet." "Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years." More In Funny "It’s funny how intimate it feels to get a text."― Sophie Ellis Bextor "Comedians don’t laugh. They’re too busy analyzing why it’s funny or not."― James Lipton "When we criticize in Iran the actions of the government, the fundamentalists say that we and the Bush Administration are in the same camp. The funny thing is that human rights activists and Mr. Bush can never be situated in the same group."― Shirin Ebadi