"I’m Jewish. I don’t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor." ― Joan Rivers Topic(s): God More From Joan Rivers "Don’t follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise." "Yeah, I read history. But it doesn’t make you nice. Hitler read history, too." "Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you." More In God "The very contradictions in my life are in some ways signs of God’s mercy to me."― Thomas Merton "God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board."― Mark Twain "All men are born with a nose and ten fingers, but no one was born with a knowledge of God."― Voltaire