"I can’t predict the future and I don’t have respect for people who try to." ― Jackie Mason Topic(s): Respect More From Jackie Mason "I don’t believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It’s funny because it’s ridiculous and it’s ridiculous for different reasons at different times." "Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe." More In Respect "I’ve got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one."― Johnny Vegas "Yesterday we obeyed kings and bent our necks before emperors. But today we kneel only to truth, follow only beauty, and obey only love."― Khalil Gibran "People under the influence of cults is similar to that we observe in addicts. Typical behaviour for both includes draining bank accounts, neglecting children, destroying relations with family and losing interest in anything except the drug or cult."― Keith Henson