"If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late." ― Henny Youngman Topic(s): Funny More From Henny Youngman "When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays." "Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport." "This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!" More In Funny "Comedy’s so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn’t get it, doesn’t find it funny, then fine."― Johnny Vegas "I wear black skinny-fit jeans – I can’t get away from them. It’s funny because I wore baggy jeans for ages, then one day my friend convinced me to try on a skinny pair and I thought they were great."― Shaun White "Funny is funny is funny."― Bob Newhart