"I’m often dating people, but I don’t say it because you sort of know it won’t last long." ― Graham Norton Topic(s): Dating More From Graham Norton "My ambition was to stop waiting tables. That was how I measured success: finally, I was able to stop waiting tables, and I was able to pay the rent, and that was by being a stand-up comic. Not a very good stand-up comic, but good enough to make a living." "All my day is spent dealing with other people. When I come home I like it to be empty. The presence of others in my house kind of annoys me. I love coming home and shutting the doors. I feel brain dead. I’m relatively available, but not to live with." "Straight men just can’t imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do." More In Dating "If you’re a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don’t have a choice."― Jimmy Fallon "Rock and Roll: Music for the neck downwards."― Keith Richards "Evolution is unobservable. It’s based on blind faith in a few dry bones and on unreliable dating systems in which the gullible trust. Kids should be allowed to make up their own minds about this issue, and not be censored to ‘one side is all we will let you hear.’"― Ray Comfort