"How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand." ― Emo Philips Topic(s): Funny More From Emo Philips "He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites." "I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator." "I was the kid next door’s imaginary friend." More In Funny "Liberty doesn’t work as well in practice as it does in speeches."― Will Rogers "At school I was very shy. I wasn’t funny really."― Michel Gondry "Do not let a flattering woman coax and wheedle you and deceive you; she is after your barn."― Hesiod