More From Elayne Boosler
- "I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food."
- "I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something’s wrong with me."
- "I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three."
More In Funny
- "And regardless of the fact that in this country, certainly in the arts, we treat comedy as a second-class citizen, I’ve never thought of it that way. I’ve always thought it to be important. The last time I looked, the Greeks were holding up two masks. I’ve always thought of it not only as having equal value, but as the craft of it, being funny."― Jeff Daniels
- "Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?"― H. L. Mencken
- "If at first you don’t succeed… so much for skydiving."― Henny Youngman