More From Demetri Martin
- "The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades."
- "For example, I was a White House intern the summer before I dropped out of law school. Everybody knew about it. I’d come home and go to church and everybody would say, ‘Oh, my God. Demetri, you’re working at the White House.’"
- "If you can’t tell a spoon from a ladle, then you’re fat!"
More In Funny
- "I don’t know now if I’m funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that’s funny."― Craig Ferguson
- "You know it’s funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it’s curious that they don’t do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don’t."― Garry Shandling
- "I was going through a little bit of turbulence in my career. And so, it’s funny how turbulence itself will make you hold onto something for security. And so the only thing I knew is trust in the Lord and lean not unto your own heart, in all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy path."― Emmitt Smith