"I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host." ― David Letterman Topic(s): Funny Tags: cannot, dance More From David Letterman "For the love of God, folks, don’t try this at home." "There’s only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And, I believe – because I’ve done a little of this myself – pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing." "Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, ‘I’ve got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.’ Yeah, that’s always the sign of a man in good health, isn’t it?" More In Funny "The last person they expected to connect with a screenplay was the comedic, blonde actress with the funny voice."― Joey Lauren Adams "I remember interviewing someone I actually felt bad for, and therefore didn’t want to take an ironic stance against him. It actually turned out to be a really funny piece."― Rob Corddry "You can’t be funny for funny’s sake. You try to get as outrageous situation as you can but it always has to be believable and based in real character motivations and what people would really do."― Hank Azaria