"My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It’s in the apartment somewhere." ― Steven Wright Topic(s): Pet More From Steven Wright "I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything." "I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone." "I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, “What for?” I said, “I’m going to buy some sugar.”" More In Pet "Dogs are my favorite people."― Richard Dean Anderson "There’s a saying. If you want someone to love you forever, buy a dog, feed it and keep it around."― Dick Dale "For many my behavior has been a major disappointment, my behavior has caused considerable worry to my business partners, and everyone involved in my business, but most importantly to the young people we influence, I apologize."― Tiger Woods