"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths." ― Steven Wright Topic(s): Funny More From Steven Wright "I think God’s going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding." "For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier… I put them in the same room and let them fight it out." "I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time." More In Funny "I just couldn’t go back to Suddenly Susan after David Strickland’s suicide. I didn’t see how we could make the show light and funny any more."― Judd Nelson "All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height."― Casey Stengel "I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something’s wrong with me."― Elayne Boosler