"I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her." ― Rodney Dangerfield Topic(s): Funny More From Rodney Dangerfield "I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap." "It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass." "My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive." More In Funny "Life is funny and it is interesting how we make it as serious as possible."― Elisha Cuthbert "I’m doing a very funny show in which we talk about issues. I speak at Aids charities and things. It’s great to do something fun with our days and yet we’re told we’re doing something important."― Eric McCormack "I think British science is becoming more like American science – and then there is everybody else, I’m afraid."― Martin Fleischmann