"I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people." ― Rodney Dangerfield Topic(s): Funny More From Rodney Dangerfield "It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass." "I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap." "My mother had morning sickness after I was born." More In Funny "I don’t think know if anything’s going to translate anywhere. You’re making a movie, you hope it’s going to be funny, you can’t think about how it’s going to go over."― Ben Stein "It’s funny, when bands or younger musicians ask me: ‘So, what does it take to make it?’ Well, first explain to me what you mean by ‘making it’: Do you want to be a rock star or do you want music to be your livelihood?"― Eddie Van Halen "Appearance is something you should definitely consider when you’re going out. Have your girlfriend clip your nails or something like that."― Usher