"A girl phoned me the other day and said… ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home."
― Rodney Dangerfield
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More From Rodney Dangerfield
- "I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people."
- "My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home."
- "We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together."
More In Home
- "The old interests of aristocracy – the romance of action, the exalted passions of chivalry and war – faded into the background, and their place was taken by the refined and intimate pursuits of peace and civilization."― Lytton Strachey
- "If you’ve gone into a marriage and you haven’t been clear about how you’re going to handle money, how you want to raise kids, who is going to work or stay home or what have you, then you’ve set yourself up for failure."― Phil McGraw
- "I try not to tune in to politics until it’s two or three months before the election. Till then, it’s like watching preseason football."― Trey Parker