"I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well." ― Robert Benchley Topic(s): Funny More From Robert Benchley "A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death." "Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other." "Why don’t you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?" More In Funny "I had a very funny family."― Zach Braff "It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything."― Adam Carolla "How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand."― Emo Philips