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- "Comedy’s so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn’t get it, doesn’t find it funny, then fine."― Johnny Vegas
- "We are all one – or at least we should be – and it is our job, our duty, and our great challenge to fight the voices of division and seek the salve of reconciliation."― Roy Barnes
- "If you can’t tell a spoon from a ladle, then you’re fat!"― Demetri Martin