"The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron." ― Phyllis Diller Topic(s): Funny More From Phyllis Diller "There’s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what’s the problem?" "My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual." "Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?" More In Funny "Boston is actually the capital of the world. You didn’t know that? We breed smart-ass, quippy, funny people. Not that I’m one of them. I just sorta sneaked in under the radar."― John Krasinski "I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man."― Frank Carson "California is a fine place to live – if you happen to be an orange."― Fred Allen