"I’m a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone’s life." ― Mitch Hedberg Topic(s): Music More From Mitch Hedberg "Every time I go and shave, I assume there’s someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, ‘I’m gonna go shave, too.’" "If my kid couldn’t draw I’d make sure that my kitchen magnets didn’t work." "Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain’t funny!" More In Music "If I hadn’t of had music in my life, it’s quite possible I’d be dead and I’d much rather be alive."― James Hetfield "I got obsessed with classical music, I got obsessed with Chopin, with playing the piano."― Gary Oldman "For me, the great thing about music is that anybody can do it."― Jarvis Cocker