"If my kid couldn’t draw I’d make sure that my kitchen magnets didn’t work." ― Mitch Hedberg Topic(s): Mom More From Mitch Hedberg "Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults." "Every time I go and shave, I assume there’s someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, ‘I’m gonna go shave, too.’" "My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them." More In Mom "What I loved about ‘Summer’ was that they were these four bright kids with a wonderful future. In a way, she was the one with the brains, and then you have the beauty queen and the jock and the introvert."― Kevin Williamson "I must admit, even though I’m the product of two Jewish parents, I think the Irish temper got in there somewhere, so I’m going to check Mom’s genealogy."― Harvey Weinstein "I want my daughter to be proud of me and look up to me. I think early on in my pregnancy I realized that to be the mom I want to be, I had to change my life, and that’s what I’m doing."― Holly Madison