More From Mitch Hedberg
- "I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn’t work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."
- "I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn’t have one. So I got a cake."
- "I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle."
More In Dad
- "My father was the guy on the block who said hi to everyone."― Damon Wayans
- "As a dad, he thinks that his philosophy is morally correct. He has no conscience whatsoever about letting his kids put a penny in a light socket to find out electricity is not so good for you, and if you want to learn how to swim, you have to be thrown into the deep end."― Stacy Keach
- "I watched Italia ’90 with my Mum and Dad and my brother, you know, leaping around the house when the penalties were on… It would be great to be part of that, to have that kind of impact."― Steven Gerrard