"I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that." ― Mitch Hedberg Topic(s): Cool More From Mitch Hedberg "All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me." "Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?" "I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car’s headlights and tell you exactly which way it’s coming." More In Cool "I’ve helped create over 400 jobs in the worst economy of my lifetime. That’s cool."― Curt Schilling "I think working with Johnny Depp was very intimidating. It was my fault though. I mean he’s a total cool nice, nice guy, but I was just so, I don’t know, overpowered by his presence. Like he’s a very mystic person. He’s older so I never really warmed up around him. I was so stiff."― Franka Potente "I love my mother Ali so much. I’m a momma’s boy. I just have a very cool mom. It’s not as though I had any say in the matter. I’m just really fortunate. She’s the most kind, loving, giving woman."― Hayden Christensen