More From Mark Twain
- "If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first."
- "I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened."
- "My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."
More In Funny
- "Television has brought back murder into the home – where it belongs."― Alfred Hitchcock
- "Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away."― Demetri Martin
- "I remember watching Gilda Radner when I was a kid and everyone thought she was so funny and no one ever said that she was a funny woman, she was just funny."― Rachel Dratch