"Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas."
― Johnny Carson
Topic(s):
Funny
More From Johnny Carson
More In Funny
- "As soon as you are trying to be funny or dramatic, that’s when things start feeling fake and boring."― Joseph Gordon-Levitt
- "I come more to Scotland than I ever used to, so I feel more connected to it, more part of the zeitgeist. You know when you realize you have a choice and I’m choosing my homeland. It’s funny: when you get older these things creep up to you."― Alan Cumming
- "I really don’t know what makes a comedian. I think it’s a family background and environment. Yet if you put the same ingredients in another person, he may never utter a funny line."― Bob Newhart