"A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it." ― Jerry Seinfeld Topic(s): Funny More From Jerry Seinfeld "The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing." "Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God’s final word on where your lips end." "The IRS! They’re like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!" More In Funny "I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."― Rita Rudner "I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me."― Warren Buffett "I wasn’t the best in my class at the Royal Academy. There was a really good soprano and baritone who were technically better and are doing really well in opera now. But I was definitely the best mezzo-soprano in my class, because I was the only one of those!"― Katherine Jenkins