"I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I’m watching the highlights." ― Jay London Topic(s): Funny More From Jay London "I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?" "My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings." "I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out." More In Funny "We are all one – or at least we should be – and it is our job, our duty, and our great challenge to fight the voices of division and seek the salve of reconciliation."― Roy Barnes "I will do my best. That is all I can do. I ask for your help – and God’s."― Lyndon B. Johnson "If you felt that excitement when you voted for Barack Obama, shouldn’t you feel that way now that he’s President Obama? You know there’s something wrong with the kind of job he’s done as president when the best feeling you had was the day you voted for him."― Mitt Romney