"My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that’s not so bad; but New York City?" ― Henny Youngman Topic(s): Dad More From Henny Youngman "I know a man who doesn’t pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car." "When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays." "I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock." More In Dad "I probably have an earlier curfew than anyone. My mom wants to keep me really safe and my dad’s not overly protective, but he’s a dad no matter what."― Miley Cyrus "Mental illness can happen to anybody. You can be a dustman, a politician, a Tesco worker… anyone. It could be your dad, your brother or your aunt."― Frank Bruno "When I was a boy, I used to pull a big cross saw with my dad. He’d use his right hand, so I’d have to use my left."― Joe Frazier