"A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul." ― George Bernard Shaw Topic(s): Funny Tags: government, peter More From George Bernard Shaw "Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open." "We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience." "Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity." More In Funny "I like getting up in front of an audience. It’s fun when you go to a baseball game and the crowd is cheering you. I can’t deny it. And it’s very funny, too. Sometimes you’re shy; you go somewhere and everyone’s looking at you, so you feel a little self-conscious."― Jon Lovitz "This may sound funny, but as much as the ‘Today’ show matured me, it also was something of a cocoon. I’d been happy there. I never went into the boss’s office and pounded my fist on the desk, saying, ‘Give me more money! Give me a prime-time show!’"― Jane Pauley "Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?"― Phyllis Diller