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- "And I think that if I were a for real celebrity that was recognizable everywhere, I’d just crawl under a rock and you know, have someone run over the rock with a car, or something."― Steve Burns
- "If we reject science, we reject the common man."― Naguib Mahfouz
- "My grandma’s the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she’s doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot!"― Jeff Foxworthy