More From Emo Philips
- "I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don’t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper."
- "When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."
- "I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, “I’m going to mop the floor with your face.” I said, “You’ll be sorry.” He said, “Oh, yeah? Why?” I said, “Well, you won’t be able to get into the corners very well.”"
More In Humor
- "With humor, it’s so subjective that trying to think of what the ideal reader would think would drive you crazy."― Calvin Trillin
- "He was just trying to tease me – I knew that later – but he said he’d have to leave because it wasn’t fair to have anyone in the room who was going to make fun of what he had to say. He had a good sense of humor, really."― Fay Wray
- "When humor goes, there goes civilization."― Erma Bombeck