More From Emo Philips
- "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."
- "How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand."
- "I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don’t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper."
More In Funny
- "Everyone comes up to me saying, ‘Cooee, Julie! Hello!’ as if I know them. Of course I don’t bloody know them. Am I flummoxed by it? Sometimes. I think, ‘Ooh, love, go easy.’ For a time, I did feel this pressure that I had to be funny, but it passes."― Julie Walters
- "In a funny way, poems are suited to modern life. They’re short, they’re intense. Nobody has time to read a 700-page book. People read magazines, and a poem takes less time than an article."― Caroline Kennedy
- "I will do my best. That is all I can do. I ask for your help – and God’s."― Lyndon B. Johnson