"Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch." ― Dennis Miller Topic(s): Funny More From Dennis Miller "Born again?! No, I’m not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time." "I had fun pretending to be a sportscaster. People always think that was a down thing for me. I had the best job in sports broadcasting for two years." "The American education system couldn’t be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood." More In Funny "What’s another word for Thesaurus?"― Steven Wright "Study how water flows in a valley stream, smoothly and freely between the rocks. Also learn from holy books and wise people. Everything – even mountains, rivers, plants and trees – should be your teacher."― Morihei Ueshiba "Comedy’s so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn’t get it, doesn’t find it funny, then fine."― Johnny Vegas