"I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything."
― Demetri Martin
Topic(s):
Good
― Demetri Martin
More From Demetri Martin
- "The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who’s really funny for a cartoonist, obviously."
- "People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they’re very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they’re kind of hard to tell apart – especially if the human is kind of hairy."
- "I like to use ‘I Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter’ on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable."
More In Good
- "It is foolish to tear one’s hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less by baldness."― Marcus Tullius Cicero
- "1913 wasn’t a very good year. 1913 gave us the income tax, the 16th amendment and the IRS."― Ron Paul
- "Joyfulness keeps the heart and face young. A good laugh makes us better friends with ourselves and everybody around us."― Orison Swett Marden